SweetieTots

Miloboy’s Primary One teacher last year (in year 2009), is someone who really has a passion with teaching kids. She alerts me of Miloboy’s condition and she keeps Miloboy’s attention in check, letting him sit in the middle of the classroom and getting the class’s probably best student, to help supervise Miloboy’s attention span.

I am really very glad that she did all these that she makes me feel a bit apologetic to the girl who helps to “supervise” my boy. But, when I heard that she took Miloboy’s stationery without permission from Miloboy, I tell myself, well, she got her “payment”. Don’t feel too bad about it….

How I wish she’s teaching Miloboy this year. Well, sometimes, you just have to accept the fact that Life is full of up and downs. You do not get someone as good as that teacher every year. If your children do, you must be the world’s luckiest parent!

This year, Miloboy’s teacher made him sit right at the corner of the classroom, which is also the “backdoor” of the class. You can imagine, an ADHD kid, it is pretty hard for him to concentrate at a position like this. I must say that Miloboy has done well. So far, he only “forgotten” to takedown his homework 3 times….. Trust me, he really improved compared to last year….

I did alert the teacher. He KNEW about this. He even acknowledged it. I was a bit surprised to know that Miloboy is not sitting somewhere that the teacher can help to monitor him. Then again, he has NO obligation to help Miloboy.

Also, those kids sitting beside Miloboy also seems to have the same problem, maybe milder than Miloboy. This is because, they also seem to heck care or not aware of what is happening around them. (Happens to most ADHD and Autism kids)

My only conclusion is, if a teacher who has passion for teaching children, he/she will want the best out of everyone. Miloboy’s teacher this year seems disorganized and have not much passion for teaching…. pretty much from what I have seen and conversed with him so far….

I did something that makes me feel so bad this week.

I am not sure why I did that.

But somehow, I know I wanted my boy to grow up and be a person who is able to protect himself.

Nowadays, I talk to him nicely, and I can find immediate improvement in his behaviour.

Its not easy as he really exhibits real poor awareness and a bit of unbalanced behaviour towards his sister that I sometimes wished that Miloboy is not my son.

It is as bad as it is, but life still goes on, and nothing is changed, so, get back up and perserve, no matter what…

I have thinking of writing a post on this.

My kids, especially Miloboy, has been overprotected. Not by me, but no point crying over spilled milk. I have been trying to guide them to be independent, bit by bit, so that the kids will not react defensively to me. Ever since I quit, I have been doing that.

There are trying times too. Sometimes the kids refuse to budge, cos they have been ‘pampered’ for at least 5 years of their life. Needless to say, Miloboy’s case is the most serious, I have to keep trying and trying.

Basic stuff like wearing own socks and shoes are perfectly fine for Miloboy now. He even brings out his own uniform to try wearing them himself ever since school reopens. It’s a great improvement! You see, I also got to ‘convince’ others to stop helping Miloboy. That’s why its taking me a long time to get Miloboy to do things himself, and does it well.

Miloboy now eats himself at the dinner table. Very significant improvement since school reopens.

Sweetie is doing well. Now waiting for her to get used to bathing by herself. She enjoys school, enjoys company, enjoys her teacher’s jokes and she seems very happy to go to school now. Compared to the first month, she sometimes cry when she misses me a lot. hehe

Her only problem is her emotional up and downs.

As for Miloboy, I need to hang on and control my temper when I see ’someone’ helping him. I had to talk to Miloboy separately to express my concerns.

Overprotection also causes problems when it comes to writing  journals, dairy or a short story. The kids becomes not so creative and they will have problems when it comes to story writing, or we can call it a short composition. Primary One and Two children need to do this in school.

Parents have to be especially careful when handling and managing such kids. Miloboy sometimes makes me feel that everything I do is futile. But it is really not the case. Perserve on and you will see results, it just comes slowly.

I have a friend who set up a business on providing lessons to children on Money Habits & Financial Literacy has just opened for business and they want to run free lessons as a promotion to their business to create more awareness.

Well, the biggest benefit goes to the kids.

They are currently looking at children aged between 10 to 12 years old for the free lesson.

For more details, visit this link -> http://bit.ly/63OsCR

This article can be found at http://www.spark.org.sg. I personally find it is a great resource to read up on understanding ADHD.

You can compare and see what kind of traits your kid possess if you suspect them to have ADHD. Words in blue are my findings of Miloboy and Sweetie, my second child, when compared to the article.

(Miloboy did an assessment of ADHD earlier this year and he is diagnosed with ADHD, with inattention as the Primary Characteristic.)

———————————–

ADHD is generally considered to be a neurobiological disorder. Researchers believe that the symptoms of ADHD are caused by chemicals in the brain not working properly. It is characterised by the inability to sustain focused attention, impulsivity and hyperactivity.

There are 3 types, based on the latest diagnostic criteria of the American Psychiatric Association, the DSM-IV:

1. ADHD with the combined characteristics of hyperactivity, impulsivity, and inattention,
2. ADHD with inattention as the primary characteristic, and
3. ADHD with hyperactivity and impulsivity as primary characteristics.

Both my kids have ADHD with Inattention as the Primary Characteristic. Miloboy has ‘more’ displays of ADHD than Sweetie. Her Inattentiveness and Hyperactivity is most evident when she is at a shop, or an enclosed area. You will see her playing, touching, or even climbing up things….. and yes, she likes to climb to the window, and we had our window grills fixed up when we had our house.

The first and third types are most often and easily identified because these children tend to have symptoms that are highly noticeable. These are the ADHD children who are loud, always on the go, take risks, engage in dangerous behavior, and talk back to adults.

My Miloboy talks loudly, especially so when he is excited. My therapist taught me to let him know what ‘level’ he is operating at.

My Miloboy always operates at Level 4 and 5. Now, when he talks loudly, I will tell him to operate at Level 3, and sometimes he will listen to me with a smile. And when I need to whisper, I will tell him I am now operating at Level 1. And it never fails to bring a smile to his face.

Another noticeable symptom is Miloboy talks back to adults. He talks back to his teacher, not only me…. But well, he is sometimes cute when he does that. Cos he likes to be funny at times.

The second group, which is often where females are placed, are the quiet daydreamers. They lose personal belongings, can’t work alone, don’t finish tasks, and are often lost in their own thoughts.

Miloboy loses belongings but Sweetie seldom loses, rather, you will see new things in her pencilcase…. She can’t work alone. She needs me by her side in order to finish her homework. (This is a very common trait amongst kids)

As for Miloboy, he can do it all by himself, provided nobody distracts him. Sweetie likes to distract Miloboy as she wants him to play with her. Miloboy displays more “Daydreaming” trait than Sweetie. Not that she doesn’t.

Researchers estimate that ADHD occurs in as few as 1% and as many as 20% of children under 18 years of age. The most accepted estimate is 3-5% of school-going children. That translates into 2 such students in a class of 40 in Singapore’s context.

List of Problems typically faced by ADHD children:

• Poor attention in class   (Miloboy always gets this complaint)
• Poor classroom participation and failure to ask teachers for necessary help  (applies to Miloboy too)
• Poor understanding of material taught (unless they are ‘gifted’ with high IQ)  (If so, Miloboy should have high IQ, cos he can understand)
• Poor study skills  (Hmm, what’s study skill?)
• Poor organization skills (ie. does not know how to organize time and work) (applies to both Miloboy and Sweetie)
• Great difficulty in doing homework  (Applies to Sweetie, she knows her work but simply refuses to do it…)
• Failure to complete (and hand up ) homework  (Applicable to Miloboy at times)
• Sloppy or illegible handwriting (Miloboy is slow, so he rushes to finish his work and his handwriting is sloppy now compared to first half of this year.)
• Disrupting the classroom  (Not applicable to both kids, lucky…)
• Getting into fights with peers (due to poor social skills)  (Miloboy’s classmates find him funny and likes to play rough to Miloboy, e.g. pulling his shirt, chase after him and you will see hand marks on his shirt..)
• Low self esteem  (Both kids display some traits of low self esteem….)