How We Discipline Our Children
Are you pondering and contesting how to instill discipline, and if spanking is the more effective way to discipline your child?
What is discipline?
Before I go on to talk about the ways we instill discipline on our kids. Its better to define Discipline first.
My understanding on discipline is about teaching and training the child, helping him to develop self-discipline, self-control and respect for himself and others. It is not just about punishment.
In short, Discipline is about responsibility. We want our kids to grow into sensible people who do not shrink responsibility and respected by others.
Tip#1 – Start Early
Suggests that when you find your baby turns to look at your reaction whenever he throws a toy away or deliberately drops stuff, you can start disciplining him right away!
One of the way is to tell your baby “No, no”, accompanied by shaking your head. No spanking should be used even if baby keeps on doing the same act, but you should keep doing the same to let baby register that his action, does not earn a smile from you.
Tip#2 – Consequential Teaching
Although is a very good method theoretically. I have to admit that actual scenarios are not as easy as in paper. Whenever my children over-steps or does not do as they are told. We will tell them what will be the consequences that their undesirable behavior will bring them. However, sometimes, its difficult enough to make them stop their act, let alone making them sit down and listen to me.
Examples include running around wildly making so much noise/shouting that disturb the neighbours. (Ok, my kids are real lively ones. They are very active)
I would really suggest that Shouting should not be used in such cases as it only makes the decibels coming from your house larger. (Hey not to worry, I am guilty of this too!) I used to stop them using distraction methods. If they had been good, but forgot about self-control at that moment, we will use “carrots” to distract them. And give them a good lecture, without any spanking, but they dun get the carrot though. Else, we will bring out the mighty Cane for show only. Once they see the cane, they will stop any activity they had. That’s just how mighty it is. :p
This method of consequential teaching is especially effective when a similar incident & consequence happened before. Remind them when they had been bad, and are punished duly. (By punishing, it does not have to be spanking)
Tip#3 – Give Choices
Let your child have more control over his life, when he is old enough to understand what you are saying and he is capable enough to execute it.
Real life example from me: my boy has a choice if he wants to watch his favourite cartoon, if he wants to, he has to give me 2 pages of completed maths questions. He can choose to do it if he wants to watch the cartoon.
Tip#4 – Consistency
This is very important. In order for the above methods to work, we as parents got to be very consistent with the carrots and sticks meted out to them.
No favoritism either, although you may love the youngest, cutest baby you just had, or it’s the only girl you had, out of 3 boys. Always be fair, be consistent. So that you earn respect from them.
You got to earn respect from them too!
There’s also a couple of methods of discipline covered here as well, hope you find them useful.
- sweetietots
