When a “C” is Not Good Enough
It has been a while since I post something. Well, before I go on, I think I have not updated that I sent my boy for a ADHD Test last month. And he is diagnosed to have it. 61% positive, as the paper says.
Right now, the doctor that is handling Miloboy’s case need to get feedback from the school as well, and the next appointment will take place late next month.
But yesterday, something drastic happened that I am still having chills from it.
My boy is the last one to come out of school…. and he is in tears, shouting back at his teacher. The crying part is “normal” to me. As he is a crybaby. But the shouting part…. this is NOT NORMAL.
I listened through the whole event which lasted 5 minutes till the teacher talked to me, finally, as I was waiting for her. She has previously given me a hand signal to wait, so I thought it will be better to remain silent till she is ready.
She demanded from Miloboy (conversation between miloboy and teacher) that he have to complete the worksheet and hand in tomorrow in school. Miloboy was shouting back that he is not going to hand in tomorrow but on friday instead. He clearly shows his deviant nature here.
Then he ran out of the school gate, crying, while I quickly talked to the teacher and got my girl to help keep watch of miloboy.
What teacher complained is pretty normal, Daydreaming in class, Not Attentive in Class etc. From what she had told me, she is displeased at the fact that she thinks Miloboy is capable of doing and completing the Maths worksheet in time, but he was actually daydreaming in class, and that he got one of the questions wrong.
Conversation ended when my girl ran back to tell me miloboy had went further away and threw down his school bag. I chased after him but he is actually waiting for me, so he is not that far away afterall. He told me he is throwing tantrums and he is Like That, he will cry first, then throw tantrums, and he wanted to go home alone.
He stopped at a nearby playground, which is good to me, as he still have not stopped his tantrums. I had to activate his dad, who was on the way home, to help talk to him.
When his dad arrived at the playground, and told Miloboy that he should not be daydreaming in class, but instead, try to complete the maths, whether or not he had done it right, as long as he tried his best, then the shocking part came.
“It does matter if I did not do it Right!!”
“I cannot get a C!”
“I will get punished if I get a C!”
Both of us are pretty shocked. We never stress the kids to get good grades, cos we both know that good grades do not get you anywhere nor give you a good start when you come out to work. More importantly, its on how you handle people, its the social skills….
But of course we had to comfort him first, the harsh reality can wait. What is more important now is that he got to know, Good Grades Ain’t Everything.
In my heart, I was thinking does getting an “A” earn me more money? Unfortunately, the answer is a No!
From yesterday’s episode, we can easily tell that Miloboy’s ego is badly bruised. He hates people shouting at him, and this is the first time that he retailates by shouting back…. and that he knew his teachers ain’t pleased if he does not get everything question Right….
I know the teachers must have been pretty stressed as well. I used to read a blog from a teacher but it was shut down due to “unknown” reasons…. I know they are really stressed.
So this is that the Education System we are giving our kids? Stressed teachers and stressed kids.
Is there a Need to stress a Primary One, 7 year old kid to this extent?
And he has to answer all questions correctly?
Just when did my Miloboy become a Genius ?
Pretty Crazy I would say…..
April 15th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
i realised that kids are giving themselves a lot of stress nowadays.
i got a fren’s child who will cry if she didn’t get A. the parents didn’t give her the stress, but she don’t allow herself to get B.
is it the stress from teachers? or peers? or the society?
April 16th, 2009 at 6:58 am
Your eldest is reacting to the adult in a straightforward manner. If there is any blame, I would naturally pin it to the teacher. Your boy realised that his teacher was not at all forgiving. As the saying goes ‘To err is human’, this teacher needs to chill out especially on a boy who dreams and very trusting (for his age). Of course, teacher is human after all but they should not kill the dream of kids (Not yet)!
April 27th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
thanks bro, was too tight up with the kids to tell you the whole story.
I looked through the very piece of maths paper that the teacher was shouting at him that day, he did One question wrong, while rest of them (3 long questions) he did it after the teacher keep scolding him… he did them all correctly in fact. It was the start of the new week after the one week holiday. I had the feeling that the teachers kanna from principal or something, cos I heard quite a lot of stories that week about other teachers in other classes as well……
April 27th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
All 3 of them!
I do not really mix around with the parents or maids or grandmas of other kids, but i sure can feel the pressure too…. its pretty frightening. You can hear from the conversations that practically all of the kids nowadays have to go for their Tuition Classes….
Its like that, most parents nowadays do not have the time to teach their kids. While most stay at home mums I know are unable to teach their kids. (Lots of them are not home grown singaporeans.
Just last friday I overheard a grandma telling 2 mothers how pitiful the kids are today. She could not understand why parents want to stress the kids so much (she was complaining that her son and daughter-in-law stressing her 2 grandsons). After the grandma left, the 2 mothers was talking to each other that it can’t be helped as they want the children to have an easier time when they are adults….
What do you think? Is it peer? society or ???
April 27th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
The society at large is certainly operating at a lightning pace. What comes around goes around. You would have to be strong as things can be quite nasty as kids grow up. We have all met some of the pressures when we grew up. The younger generation is surely worse than ours. The solution is to have holidays. Kids can see for themselves how other people in different countries conduct their affairs as opposed to Singaporean. Let the kids have the necessary exposure because they would need to fend for themselves not you.